


I know you need this

by Shiplockrewrites



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Light BDSM, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-01-20
Packaged: 2018-01-09 11:53:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1145668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shiplockrewrites/pseuds/Shiplockrewrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Let me.” Anderson says and places one warm hand inside Sherlock’s trousers and snakes out his flaccid penis.  Before Sherlock can formulate the variety of reasons this is utterly ridiculous, Anderson has licked a swipe over the head of Sherlock’s cock. It does nothing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**["I know you need this cover" by ShiplockWrites]**

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

“Oh God. Oh God I’m sorry, Sherlock.”

Anderson fell to his knees and grabbed hold of Sherlock’s coat.  What could Sherlock do but give a gentle pat to former detective’s shoulders.  Here on his knees was a shell of the former man and Sherlock couldn’t help but think in another life this would have been rather fun. Especially if it was followed by Anderson finally admitting how wrong he’d been about Sherlock. It’s not that he cared what people like Anderson and Donovan thought just that every so often it did get a bit distracting to deal with their ridicule.   Some days it took Sherlock considerable effort to delete the insults. That all changed, of course, when John came into the picture.

“It’s…It’s fine Philip.” Sherlock tried to offer some assurances. That’s what people do right? It’s what John would want him to do…if John were here.

“Is it?” Anderson looked up at Sherlock with pleading eyes. His face seemed to fill with the hope of a desperate man willing to believe anything. Sherlock knew of that pointless hope.  He looked down at Anderson and sneered.

“No.”

“Oh God. I’m sorry.  I’m so,so sorry.” Anderson choked out a sob, “What can I do? Please Sherlock?  Say I can do something.”

“Mmm. ”  Sherlock pondered it over. Reviewing the details , so many details of what lead to him being here right now.  If Donovan and Anderson hadn’t taken the bait would the last two years change? Of course not. Moriarty would’ve found another set of witless morons to take the puppeteer held reigns of the ‘Destroy Sherlock’s reputation’ campaign.  Also Anderson was able to deduce that Sherlock was alive. Not a total moron then.

“I know what I can do.”  Anderson nuzzled his face closer to Sherlock’s crotch and with a shaking hand moved the Belstaff away.

“What ARE you doing?”  Sherlock knows that Anderson has been married for years and had an affair with Donovan for almost as long as the marriage. In all the very boring deductions Sherlock has seen about Anderson, he never saw…this.

“I know John’s with Mary now.” Sherlock wince is immediate. He looks towards Anderson’s wall.  It’s obvious the man knows what Sherlock is feeling but he still doesn’t want Anderson to see.  Yes, John is with Mary now. She helped John while Sherlock was away. She had quickly helped find find John when he was kidnapped.  But could he trust her? It didn’t matter. He had to trust her.  John wants her now. Now because Sherlock had to leave John. Before he was sure that eventually John would want him. There were so many moments before and now they’re gone. Gone because of Moriarty. Gone because of his time away. Gone because idiots let themselves be lead down that destructive path.

“Sherlock?”

“I’ll take my leave now.”

“You can use me you know?”  Anderson says softly then lifts his hand towards Sherlock’s zipper and time slows. It will take Anderson less than  3 seconds to unzip him. And it’s really a lifetime to think but he can’t find the map to understand what route he should be taking.  The confusion must show on his face but Anderson continues and unzips Sherlock’s trousers.

“What do you mean?” Sherlock’s brow furrows as he looks down at Anderson. Anderson is offering him what? To be his John?  To take the place of the man that is gone?  The man that he’ll never get to touch. To at least try with? The man who he l-…

“Let me.” Anderson says and places one warm hand inside Sherlock’s trousers and snakes out his flaccid penis.  Before Sherlock can formulate the variety of reasons this is utterly ridiculous, Anderson has licked a swipe over the head of Sherlock’s cock. It does nothing.  He understands the sensation that he should be feeling but this isn’t the person he can feel it for.   The mouth is warm but not since that time in New Delhi did he even think to give in to these pleasures. Then he did for a moment.  When he had a day off in the middle of destroying Moriarty’s web, he took it. Only a moment with his hand touching himself and dreaming of the day when it would be John’s hand there instead of his did he find the release he’d been craving for a stone’s age. But that…that will never happen.  It is finally the anger that pushes him over the edge to want to rut and pump and now his cock is hard, stood at attention, and leaking.

“Fine.”  Is all he says.  So Anderson licks again and again.  He wants to close his eyes and imagine someone else but then Anderson’s hand moves to hold the base of his cock. It is firm and grounding. His hand holds the base of Sherlock’s cock and Anderson’s tongue snakes around him in rapid movements licking more swipes under and around the phallus. He curls his tongue and darts to taste the leaking pre-cum then rolls it over the ridges and veins. Sherlock is finally ready to close his eyes and simply give in to the fantasy of a certain doctor who has looked at him with lust. A doctor he was sure one day would give Sherlock anything…everything. But Anderson opens his mouth and takes almost all of Sherlock’s length.  Sherlock doesn’t want this. Not like this. Not from him. But he does want to take this. He wants to take this from someone. Because for the last few years everyone has taken from him. Taken his reputation. Taken his name. Taken his home. Taken his Jo-…He wants to stop himself before giving in to that pity party but he can’t help but flashback to those final days.  Anderson hollows his cheeks and sucks harder but Sherlock is still…still. He is still not thrusting. He is still in his mind flashing back to the past.  Anderson hums and takes Sherlock further into his mouth. He continues his sucking as he is getting closer to taking all of Sherlock down his throat. And Sherlock knows he can take this. He can take this for himself.

“Put your arms behind your back.” He commands with fury in his voice. Anderson complies immediately without stopping the bob back and forth as he sucks on Sherlock’s dick. Sherlock reaches into his pocket and finds the handcuffs he always keeps there. He leans over and quickly handcuffs Anderson’s hands behind his back.  His cock slips out of Anderson’s mouth but as he stands up he coolly says, “Get on with it.”

“Yes Sherlock. “ Anderson says and starts to lean forward then pauses and seems to wait for Sherlock to look down at him.  It takes Sherlock a few seconds before he decides to spare him a glance and their eyes meet . “No need to be gentle, Sherlock.  I know you need this.”  

Anderson opens his mouth and swallows down far more than he had more. Without his hands to safety him from trying Anderson seemed to decide to simply dive for the deep end of the pool. Sherlock grunts a little at the assault.  Anderson seems to suck as hard as he can with a few scrapes of teeth and rolling his tongue around while trying to maintain suction.  Sherlock recalls that Anderson spent two years researching him. It’s possible that, like the woman, he has figured out at least some of what Sherlock likes. And Sherlock hates this. He hates that of all people who believed in him it was Anderson. He hates that of all the people who sat around coming up with theories was Anderson. And the person who knows he needs this is Anderson.  In Sherlock’s mind he hears all the insults over the years. Even the deleted ones. Nothing is every truly deleted and the worst of our lives always finds a way to worm itself back into existence. He hears every time he was called freak. Every time he was made to feel ashamed. And if he allows himself to be simplistic about it then Anderson is partially to blame. Yes, Anderson is right. He does need this… but not like this. Sherlock fists his hand in Anderson’s hair and holds tight. He thrust his cock deep into Anderson’s mouth hard. He hears Anderson gag and he pulls out only for a moment before thrusting in hard and holding. The sound of Anderson’s gagging comes soon after but Sherlock simply pulls out and plunges in deep again and again and God it feels glorious to do this. It doesn’t matter who. It’s finally time to be free of what he should do, what he’s expected to do. Every moment of wondering what will happen is over. Right now it’s simply about letting his body push in and out feeling the warmth of someone who is there letting him _take._ Sherlock realises he’s been thrusting in and out of Anderson’s mouth for a few minutes so he pulls himself almost all the way out and rests his cock on Anderson’s lips.  Anderson is gasping for breath but he also moans. It’s the first time Sherlock has deigned to recognize Anderson is enjoying this. Sherlock looks down past his cock on Anderson’s lips and can easily see that the man is hard and straining against his pants. He knows he should do something about that. It’s seems rude but…

“No, Sherlock. Just you. Please just you?”

  
“I see you’ve really been learning my techniques of mental deduction while I’ve been away.”  Before Anderson can answer, Sherlock rears back and plunges in again once, twice. He curls his fist hard in Anderson’s hair and pulls. It’s too long. Far too long to be John’s hair.  But he tries to forget these details. He thrusts in. John’s mouth. John’s mouth. He knows every detail of John’s lips. He can imagine how good it’d feel to do this but he NEVER. WILL. He rears and thrusts hard as he thinks the last two words.  The realisation that he never will do this with John is ever present in his mind.  He can never do this and be  gentle with John. He never do this and be rough with John. He simply never will. But he has a mind. He has an imagination and he can imagine John swallowing him down. He can imagine John not backing down from trying to take in his length. He can imagine John’s kiss bruised lips. He can imagine John swallowing him down. And finally he is cumming. He staggers forward. The final wave of the orgasm comes over him and he moans without shame, “John.”

Sherlock collapses to the floor. Anderson falls down beside him. Sherlock allows the whiteout moment of peace to take him over. It’s not that he stops thinking when he cums but he can filter in this state. It is not unlike being on the top level of the mind palace where things follow simple order.   Peace is here and allows you to see the simple things often missed.  His eyes falls to Anderson’s wall. Not unlike his own except of course Anderson’s is ridiculous. He sees the photo of him in that hat.  John actually liked the hat.  John.  He closes his eyes and thinks of later.  He’ll go back to 221B. John will be there and he’ll speak to him. He’ll be Sherlock Holmes again. He’ll wear to the hat.  He’ll show John how much he cares. He’ll show how much he needs John.  Surely these two years can be undone.

He pushes himself back inside his pants, zips, leans over, and retrieves the cuffs from Anderson’s wrists then places them in his pocket. He stands up and rakes a hand through his hair then dusts himself off.  He should be saying something to Anderson now he thinks.

“Thank you for coming back.” Anderson says

Sherlock says nothing and leaves.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm working to improve my writing so feel free to leave any/all critiques you like. I've a tough skin and I really want to learn. This is my first work with a goal of rewriting the whole of Sherlock Season 3. I'll have more stories but they'll be a collection as compared to having one single narrative. I ship Johnlock but my goal is to try to play in all the ship sandboxes. Thanks so much for reading.


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